I Climbed a Mountain and Only Died Once | Peru Travel Vlog
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I Climbed a Mountain and Only Died Once | Peru Travel Vlog

I’m trying to get stuff done. Dude, no! Stop! Quit, oh my gosh, no! Please, no! Today’s bad camera angle is brought to you by…my adult acne So, tomorrow afternoon I’m gonna be leaving
on a trip to Peru So, who wants to pack for this trip together? What we’re gonna
do first, is get all my clothes in here but that’s really boring so I’m just
gonna cut that part out and skip ahead to the more entertaining stuff Ok so, your essential Peru items-to-pack list: Number one: bug spray, or else you will
die Number two: sunscreen, or else you will
die Number three: deodorant, or else you will want to die And finally… We got the snacks, dudes Here we go, let’s just get ourselves a better
view here Now, as you can see, I’ve gathered myself a decent selection here And I’ve dedicated roughly 50% of my bag space to the storage of my food Now, for all you amateur snack-packers out there, one thing you gotta be conscious about
is that you don’t pack anything that could melt in your bag. Because I don’t
really know how airplanes storage units work, but I’m pretty sure they’re not
climate controlled, and the last thing you want to find when you crack this thing
open is a melted Hershey’s bar covering your favorite bra then I filmed myself in the airport
bathroom because all the vlogger girls do that for some reason? I don’t
understand, but I conform. then we were in the plane. then we took off. then they
served us dinner, and this is where it gets interesting, so buckle up folks.
first, we have the chicken and veggies and whatever that other stuff was.
unremarkable, but not unpalatable. then we move on to the bread. obviously, you have
to spread the little butter pat on before you eat it. like, if you’re the
kind of person to just dig into a piece of plain, untoasted, unflavored,
room-temperature bread, cease-and-desist now, we transition to this lovely salad. I
accidentally dumped an obscene amount of dressing on it. it was a salad, I guess.
crackers and cheese. I was under the impression that this little wedge of
cheese was, in fact, a wedge of cheese and not, in actuality, a blob of Cheese-Whiz
that had been shaped into a triangle and stuffed into this deceptively fancy
packaging. zero out of ten, would not eat again. finally, we move on to my last hope
for this pitiful meal: the Aztec cinnamon bar. if this wasn’t a success, then I was
prepared to crack open the emergency exit, pitch myself into the frigid night
air, and fall to earth like the useless piece of space debris that I am. that
made no sense, anyway it was really good then my husband contemplated the secrets
of Budapest. then it was really dark and I took this video of myself, and yes I am
definitely in there, here is the approximate location of where my head
should be. you’re welcome. then we had breakfast. it was boring and not very
good. then I saw this. then I saw this. then I saw this, and yes those are
definitely tiny little towns tucked into the crevices of the mountain. but most
importantly, I saw this: Peruvian cereal it was good. But the next day, all was well, and we set out the explore the area Out first destination was a waterfall hidden away in the jungle, and boy, did we take a scenic route getting there. Like, look at this?? There were many steps involved, and I’m pleased to report that I didn’t even
trip once on any of them. then we were there, and it was genuinely one of the
most beautiful places I can remember seeing in my life.
I definitely got caught taking this weird video of myself while we were
there, but I was only mildly humiliated because, LOOK AT THIS PLACE. if I gave a
single crap about my Instagram, my profile would be bangin right now. fun
fact: Peruvian public restrooms, as I
discovered, often don’t stock toilet paper. or paper towels. or hand soap.
yeah, we’re just not even going to talk about how- then we saw this statue of a centaur bull man and his naked lady girlfriend and while the statue was pretty sick, I
was more intrigued by the sheer amount of evil the artist managed to pack into
this turtle’s eyes. The second half of our trip would land us in a castle with
a dragon, and also this small dog. This place was already pretty amazing, but I
liked it even more when I found out that it isn’t an actual historical castle. it
was built very recently, like within the last couple decades, and apparently its
creator was a guy who just really wanted to live in a castle, so he built one, and
then opened up part of it to tourists. have you ever heard a more inspirational
story? no I didn’t think so if you want a castle, build you a castle.
what a legend. once we’d wandered to the top, we found ourselves at the foot of
the dragon himself. love that dude. while we were there, I stuck my head out of
this window. then we saw a secret door that led down into the first level of
Hell. or possibly just below the swimming pool. Then I saw this foot, and these
chickens. then we went back home and I played The Sims 4 for 5 hours straight.
the next item on our adventure list was Machu Picchu I was planning on getting
lots of footage from this part of the trip, but when we got there the
combination of the altitude and the physical stress of walking up roughly
1,300 feet of stairs triggered my exercise induced asthma (yes it is a real
thing) even though I haven’t had issues with it in years. lol, the trip was
basically a five-hour asthma attack, but it was definitely worth it. the view was
insane in the brain, my guys unfortunately, this meant that I wasn’t
able to get very much footage from this part of the trip. after
we were done in Cusco, we went to Lima and then I got sick and wasn’t able to
film much from there either so, basically what I’m trying to say is,
I’m so sorry I’m a failure of a youtuber :))) anyway, that’s all I’ve got for this
video, but next week I’ll be back and with something fun and fresh and hot and
tasty and fun, so hang tight, my dudes thanks so much for watching, and I hope
you all have a wonderful day later, Gators PSYCH, I have one more thing. while I was in the airport on the way home, I found this cereal bar
restaurant. it’s literally just a restaurant that serves cereal, and it may
have been the highlight of my entire life. anyway, bye


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